What does it all mean?
On my trip, I kept a list of questions that I wanted to address while I was away from Normal. The list of questions, which I drafted about a week before I left, consisted of, “30 years from now, what do I want to have accomplished in my life?”, “When I’m dead and gone, what do I want my legacy to be?”, “Where do I want to be right now; what do I want to be doing?”, “If money weren’t a factor, what would I do for the next five years of my life?”, “How much of a factor is money to me?”, among several others.
Over the month’s time, I reached answers for every question that I left with–the resolutions of which were established over many moods and considerations and influences. That is one of the reasons why my trip was a success. I had (and used) time for reflection about the past, introspection concerning the present, and a projection of the future. I don’t know enough about enlightenment to say that anything I experienced while away from Normal was similar to this edification. But, I do know that there were many times when I felt as if some greater force had taken a good, solid grip on my forearm and jerked me so hard that I lost my footing. I also know that during those times I felt emotional, centered, beautiful, and alive. Today, my task becomes bridging the gap between what I know I will do and when I will do it.
Years ago, I watched the movie “The Truman Show”, and elements of that movie resound within me today. In the same vein as Truman, I feel that I have discovered that the life I’m living is contrived; I feel I’m traveling a path that I’m not meant to travel, one that will eventually lead to my being lost, alone, cold, hungry, and afraid. I feel, like Truman, that I need to know: “What does it all mean?” I’m sure that it will mean many things over time, but what I would like to know is, at any given time, What does it all mean? I feel, like Truman, that I don’t have to accept the superficial reality of the world with which I am presented. I can explore other worlds, I can do things that are unprecedented, I can make a different life for myself–a Life Authentic.
I feel, like Truman, that I would like to go to Fiji. Today. No questions asked. Pay the money, schlep the luggage, flash the ticket, board the plane, and one non-REM sleep later wake up in a paradise. I feel, like many feel, five days a week when we keep routine (awaking, preparing, feeding, traveling, arriving, performing, socializing, returning, feeding, sleeping, repeating), that I don’t understand what it all means. I want to know, if I live this life, when I die, for what will it have all been? How many days of status quo and being unsettled must we all accept? How much time, in my short life, will I have spent lamenting the ways that I carried out the norm and regretting the course that I chose to do so?
I like to think of times when I was a little girl. I loved adventure and the unknown and contrasts and change. Unearthing these changes within myself remind me that I’m still the little girl that I was 20 years ago in Kentucky.
There exists a flutter in the heart when you discover something new and exciting about yourself. There also exists some inner-turmoil in rectifying the changes between “the you then” and “the you now”. My consciousness is guiding me through this commotion. My heart, my spirituality, and the memories of the times when I was a little girl are providing comfort towards the development of my plan for the future.
And so is my courage. Because I, like Truman, will eventually decide to take that leap, get in a boat, paddle through storms to the edge of my world, and find a new world, far away from Normal, in which to live a Life Authentic.
Otavalo, Baños, Quito, Galapagos
I´m in Puerto Ayora, on Santa Cruz Island in the Galapagos. I got here the day before yesterday in the afternoon by way of taxi, plane, bus, ferry, taxi. This little town is adorable and neighborhood-y. So adorable and neighborhood-y that they have parties in the square, with live music and volleyball and food galore. So adorable and neighborhood-y that when I was walking around yesterday morning a little before 6, there were still people in the square drinking beer. Ya. Methinks these peeps know how to party.
Earlier, I flew into Quito from Cusco, and I didn´t do much. I had a day there, and I was still heavy with the sickness, so didn´t see a lot of Quito. What I did see, I didn´t completely love. I can´t get into the urban areas… I think I compare these cities to the big cities in America, and these are a lot different-in my eyes, not in a good way.
I took a two hour bus to Otavalo, stayed in a little village called San Pablo. My hotel was great, and a perfect respite to fight my evil illness. I hired a tour guide and did a 4 hour hike around Lake Cuicocha, which was awesome. The lake is actually an old volcano that erupted and then collapsed on itself.
Lake Cuicocha
Then we stopped by my guide´s friend´s house, and his wife was making string.
Spinning string
After Otavalo, I took a 6 hour bus ride to Baños, a small town surrounded by mountains and waterfalls, warm and humid and lovely. I rented a bike and had maybe the best day of my trip when I biked from Baños to Rio Verde. If I get sad one day and decide to run away, you know where to find me. Reference my “Ecuador found” page. I met a man named Arturo who gave me an impromptu tour of the village, including the waterfalls. He said he was a fisherman, so I asked him to take me fishing. We wandered down a trail by the river for about 30 minutes, along the way he told me about how everyone tries for hours and hours to catch the trout and they never catch any. Soon, we arrived at the spot where Arturo fishes, which turned out to be a makeshift fish hatchery of sorts. He had taken piping and flowed water from the river into various small pools, where he kept different sizes of trout. Awesome.
Fishing for trout
I found a horse on the side of the road. I think a “wild” horse, but it wasn´t afraid of me, so I´m not sure what that would be called…
Pretty horse
Arturo and I went to the Baños Zoo, which was different because the signs with information for the animals included the “American name” for them. But, they were all wrong… i.e. there was a cheetah, which they called a cheetah, but it also said it was the American tiger. Fun.
Didn´t want to leave Baños but had to… 4 hour bus ride to Quito, good dinner in Quito, the next morning went to the airport early for my Galapagos flight, which was delayed for 3 hours. Finally got out of Quito to Guayaquil, and the flight there was delayed for an hour. Some ways the Galapagos are protected: airplane was fumigated (flight attendants had masks, passengers did not), disinfected shoes when arrived at Santa Cruz airport, disinfected hands when arrived at Santa Cruz airport, paid $100 to be allowed on the island. All well worth it.
Apparently, in the early morning light against the black rocks, the crabs in the Galapagos glow in the dark.
Crabs
I spent all day yesterday at Tortuga Bay, relaxing on the white sand, listening to the waves, where my only distraction was a giant iguana who kept sneaking up on me when I was asleep. I think he was trying to steal my purse.
The iguana grifter
This pelican and I became BFF´s.
My BFF
Today I went to the Darwin Research Center to see Lonesome George and the giiiiiiiiiiant turtles. They just stand around and eat all day, bunch of fatties. Adorable.
The girls are big
The boys are bigger
Blue, blue water
I don´t want to go home because I´m free like the wind.
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